Christmas Fairy
by jarnsaxa
Summary: An unexpected encounter at the Christmas market is Ed's introduction to a new and surprising side of Roy Mustang's life.   RoyxEd.
1. Celebrating and Mourning

**AN: **I wanted to write this wa~ay earlier and planned to have it finished on Christmas, but since I didn´t… rescheduling ^^° At least I can start this fic on Christmas. Which actually is only possible because my awesome beta did a wonderful job within such a short time! Thank you, Ca11iope :D

* * *

><p><strong>Christmas Fairy <strong>

**Celebrating and Mourning**

Edward did not consider himself to be a grumpy person.

Nor had he ever considered himself to a person easily annoyed by something as simple as a holiday, and definitely not to the point of almost hating it.

No, he could not remember ever being this pissed off over something this insignificant. And yes, being called short didn't count because it was definitely significant! Also _unjustified_, damn it! He wasn´t short!

Being bumped and squeezed by people he constantly had to look up to holler protests because they hadn´t noticed him in the crowded tavern was not a sign that he was vertically challenged in any way. These people were just freakishly tall!

And drunk.

And happily singing, or rather bawling out Christmas tunes, though Edward could not recall the somewhat suggestive verses as part of the carols he had learned as a child. The improvised lyrics were putting the other bar patrons in a good mood, too, even if they were doing nothing for Ed's own.

Dodging around another drunken obstacle Ed quickly lifted his arms to avoid crashing face first into a set of … boobs. He stared like a deer in the headlight at the impressive appendages – and his hands, pressing against the soft jugs. His eyes wandered up, past a spectacular display of cleavage – and damn, if that dress were any tighter, her tits would probably be squeezed out with enough velocity to rocket against the ceiling – to a too pointy chin, softly curved lips, a small, pretty nose, and glassy eyes that betrayed the boozed-up state their owner was in. Her light brown hair might have started the evening neatly styled, but now hung messily around her shoulders.

The woman looked down on him – not short, damn it! – then at his hands, frozen against her chest, then back to his face before she leered in a way only people who were way too drunk could leer.

"I´m sorry!" The apology sounded more like a squeak, and Ed quickly snatched his hands away, turned his back, and ran for his life.

Or rather, squeezed his way through the press of drunken bodies. Earning a few choice curses, he dodged some elbows and weak punches, making his way through the crowd. As he neared the exit, someone took the opportunity to grope the red leather covering ass. Routinely, Ed grasped the pinky and bent it backwards, which earned him a pained howl and the quick removal of the molester's hand. Whatever devil had possessed him to wear red leather pants hopefully would remain in its lair and never come out again. The fore mentioned devil, otherwise known as Winry Rockbell, could keep drinking along with her boss and Paninya. Ed had had enough of watching them ogle the guys, making fools out of themselves while commenting on the various outfits, and even worse, on the people wearing them.

Note to self: never take fashion advice from two party girls and a gay Automail shop owner again, no matter how much they insisted that red was fitting for a Christmas get together. Those damn pants probably had more fingerprints on them than were stored in the Investigations Department's archives. Sure, he probably would have worn leather anyway, just the usual black, but his wrench wielding psychopathic friend had promised that if Ed wore anything other than red, she would make sure it was blood soaked enough to pass for red anyway. Ed held no illusions about her having any inhibitions in this regard.

Al, the traitor, had fled the scene early with some paltry excuse Ed had not been able to hear. The younger Elric had obviously planned ahead, not simply running for his life like his older brother was now doing. Al had taken his jacket as well, while Edward's was still on the ale-bench besides Winry.

But Ed would rather freeze than go back in there.

He'd had enough. Enough of the scrambling, the jostling, the over enthusiastic mass of people eager for unnecessary touches. Even the companionable hugs tended to turn into lingering touches, and then into groping. Ed felt no desire to find out what would come next.

And he had no desire to see Winry or Paninya participating in that kind of thing either. And certainly not Mister Garfiel.

Ed finally gained the door and stepped out into the fresh air. Freezing, but otherwise content to be out of there, Ed made his way over to a more civilized part of the Christmas market. Despite the fact that the sun had long since set, there were still plenty of children in the square, mostly sleeping babies in carriages, but some older kids as well, running and playing amongst the Christmas celebrants. His grumbling stomach reminded Ed of the fact that the only thing he had consumed so far this evening was too much mulled wine. No food. The fresh - and freaking cold – air helped to clear his head, but now, out of that damn tavern, he noticed just how much the alcohol was getting to him.

So, food it was.

* * *

><p>Roy considered himself to be a patient man. Someone used to risky and critical situations. He was discovering, however, that there was one task that could quickly and efficiently bring him to the brink of a mental breakdown.<p>

Fatherhood.

Not that he was a father of course, but he sure as hell hoped to become one, and soon.

Even with all the stress, the numerous headaches, that lack of sleep, and loss of personal privacy required to bring home dates, Roy was doing whatever he could to convince the court to grant his adoption of his niece Jiao Lan and his nephew Ze Ren.

And speaking of niece… where the hell had the girl run off to this time?

The now familiar feeling of panic once again took hold of him, and after a quick examination of his surroundings, Roy's mind once again started to regale him with dozens of worst case scenarios involving the girl. Having seen what could become of the victims of kidnapping, the images supplied by the Colonel 's mind were unsettlingly vivid in that regard. The experiences of the last few days tempered his worry however, resigned to acceptance that the girl had managed to slip away again. She did it so often Roy had lost count.

Thankfully, he developed a routine for when his niece managed to vanish, and mentally he checked off the kind of stalls in this Christmas Fair most likely to attract the girl's attention. Calling out for her in the crowded market was out of question. She likely wouldn't hear him anyway, and his nephew had finally – and thank god for that – managed to calm down and fall asleep, head leaned on Roy's shoulder, drooling on his uncle's jacket.

Roy was beyond caring about that sort of thing.

Currently, his main concern was finding his wayward niece.

* * *

><p>By now, Ed had absolutely enough of being bumped into.<p>

The happy cry of "Fairy!" however, prevented him from taking retaliatory action against the – child? What the fuck? Big, dark eyes looked up at him. Correction, stared at him like he was some kind of wish-fulfilling wonder.

"Can you make my wish come true?" the little girl chirped up at him, eyes adoring. "I promise, I´ve been a good girl, and mama and uncle told me that on Christmas Eve the wishes of all good children come true."

Oh great. Didn't people ever get tired of filling their kid's heads up with superstitious bullshit? And just where did this kid think Ed fit into the tale, to expect him to make it come true? He was an alchemist, not some – hold on.

"Fairy?"

The girl wrapped her arms around his leg and nodded stubbornly.

"Can you?" She asked again, onyx eyes filled childish curiosity, glowing with hope.

Ed idly noted the Xiangese blood in the girl's parentage as he thought over possible answers. Not really wanting to crush the girl's belief in mystical creatures, he tried to maneuver his way out of this by denying his own part in the tale without casting doubt on the tale itself.

"Uhm… Hate to break it to you, but I´m not a fairy," he informed the girl.

The child only blinked disbelieving, then nodded.

"Oh, that's right. Uncle said fairies are girls." Now, wasn´t that a smart man? The child embracing his leg seemed to consider something and then asked. "Um… so are you a…" she hesitated, biting her lip, "…a boy fairy?"

Trying not to laugh at her adorable display of childish logic, Ed shook his head. "Nope. I´m not a Christmas elf either," he informed her, and blinked. Where the hell did that idea come from? He was feeling more and more out of his comfort zone.

"You _are_ a boy though, right?" She questioned sheepishly.

"Yes." Where the fuck were the girl's parents. Uncle. Whoever.

"No fairy?" Now she appeared ready to cry.

Sighing, Ed tried to avoid heartbroken eyes brining with tears, and cast his eyes desperately around the busy square for anyone who appeared to be looking for the little almost crybaby. The small hands on his hips – the only ones he didn´t mind this evening – started to shake and there was a suspicious sniff coming from down there.

Oh hell. This was bad.

"Look." He had no idea what to say. But the child indeed stared at him, eyes still misty but once again filled with hope.

Crouching down, Ed was a bit disturbed by the fact that this put him exactly at the girl's eyelevel.

"If you tell me your wish, I´ll see what I can do, okay?" He was an alchemist, wasn´t he? It couldn´t hurt to transmute a doll or some other desperately wished for toy for the kid.

In the blink of an eye he had the overjoyed girl clinging to his neck with a delighted squeal.

And an irritated voice interrupting her wish making.

"Jiao Lan!" Damn, that name was a mouthful. Wait a second, Ed _knew_ that voice. "How often do I have to tell you-" The voice stopped abruptly when Ed stood up, quickly putting his hands around the small body to hoist her up when the skinny arms refused to let go of his neck.

Oh fuck.

Roy Mustang stared down at him.

The bastard was wearing a black suit. No Christmas-suitable red, no snowy white or mistletoe-green. And no military blue. He certainly looked… different. Even more so considering the young child sleeping peacefully in his arms, drooling on his shoulder.

"Uncle! Look, I found a fairy!" The girl in Ed's arms chirped.

"Uncle?" Ed repeated, too shocked for anything else. He never heard of any Mustang-siblings. Oh hell, there were more of his kind around? Could someone please turn back time to the moment he didn´t know? He´d prefer to live in happy ignorance.

That infuriating smirk was on that smug face and Ed was almost grateful for it. It was just too strange hearing Mustang talking and acting like some worried parent.

"A fairy, really?" The amusement was back in that voice, but it was lacking the usual mocking undertone. Probably because of the children.

Oh shit.

Ed blushed. "I´m not!" he protested. "I have no clue where she got that idea from!"

The smirk only grew wider and the blond knew that his superior would never let him live that one down. Once the Christmas break was over, he would probably hear jokes about him looking like a girl from the whole office. Except maybe Vato Falmann. The man didn't have a single humorous bone in his entire body. For which Ed was quite grateful at the moment.

Ed was sure his superior would take the opportunity to fire an immediate shot at Ed's ego, but instead, the man stepped closer and shifted his attention to the girl with the jaw breaking name.

"He´s right, sweetheart." Oh hell, the Colonel sounded like some lovesick parent again. This softly smiling man so did not match the smug and arrogant bastard who teased his long suffering subordinate on a daily base. "Why do you think he's a Christmas…" Ed could literally see the word 'fairy' on the tip of the man's tongue as the corners of Roy's mouth twitched. "...elf?" he finished, sounding as if he was guessing what she wanted to say.

Did Mustang really just skip the chance to insult him? One look in his superior officer's onyx eyes and Ed knew it would eventually cost him. And after the Colonel shifted his eyes to the girl and back to him, he had a pretty good idea just what exactly. It was kind of creepy, but somehow both of them came to a silent agreement. The word 'fairy' would not leave Roy's lips, as long as Edward would keep his own mouth shut about this rather adoring, parental side of the mighty Flame Alchemist.

"He´s so pretty!" The girl instantly started to defend her point. And Edward instantly opened his mouth to argue it. He was not 'pretty'. Girls were pretty, not men.

All Roy Mustang did was nod in earnest, obviously agreeing with his niece and inviting her to continue.

'He´s agreeing because she´s a child. He´s humoring a child, and… I drank too much. It´s the alcohol.' Mentally trying to excuse the heat in his face, the Fullmetal knew it was a lost case when Roy sent him an amused glance.

"And golden." Jiao Lan continued. Well, no one could argue that one. Edward would never call his eyes or hair golden, more like piss yellow and blond, but he knew a lot of people who agreed with that description, Alphonse the most important one.

"And short!" the girl continued, eyes wide and innocent.

What. The. Fuck.

That little monster clinging to him had three seconds to run for her life.

The little girl turned to Ed. "Mama said fairies are small," she confided.

Ed's rage was at an unbearable level. He was just about to drop her to the ground and give her a piece of his mind, but in the same instant, Ed caught sight of the grief stricken look on the bastard's face ... and he couldn´t.

Ed suddenly understood the unadorned black of Roy's attire.

It was the color of mourning.

**tbc**

* * *

><p>My plot bunnies are some crazy mutants who won´t let me write the normal, sappy and easy kind of fanfic for Christmas ._. They just love to complicate my life ;_;<p> 


	2. What a Girl Wishes For

**A/N: **Okay, there are some things you might need to know ^^ This story is placed after Cos&the first anime and slightly AU since Ed is in Amestris. It`s simply for the fact that I prefer Ed to be older than 15 ^^° I know a lot of people don´t mind writing or reading stories with Ed being so young (And I´ve read some fic's where it works), but as I said, I prefer him to be a bit older when I write ^^ another reason for this set up is that Ed has his automail and is capable of performing Alchemy. Also, Alphonse has his body back to be able to do what Ed claims he does at the end of the chapter :D

Now, a big and fat 'thank you' to Ca11iope! My fast and amazing beta :D *hugs*

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Christmas Fairy <strong>

**What a Girl Wishes For**

"Jiao Lan," Ed was still amazed how easily Mustang was able to say that name. "You really need to let go of him."

And how much patience the man possessed, considering how often and how quickly his own 'discussions' with his superior turned into fights. It was kind of strange to see Roy taking the time to reason with the girl. Ed himself had long since resigned himself to his fate and carried the child over to a booth where he could at least get something warm to drink.

The attempt to gently pry the skinny arms off his neck had ended in a scene no one wanted to repeat. The shrill squeals of outrage by the little hellion had woken her brother, Ze Ren, who quickly decided he wanted to play that game as well. The resulting symphony had been epic, many passersby wincing from the high volume assault of the screaming duo.

Since Edward's neck was already taken, Ze Ren was doing his best to strangle his uncle while staring owlishly at Edward. Whenever the blond tried to talk to the child however, doing his best to smile reassuringly at him, Roy's nephew quickly hid his face under his uncle's chin, only peeking at Edward when he felt he was no longer the object of attention. Once assured that the adults were occupied with something else, he returned to outright staring. Ed had given up trying to talk to the child in order not to make him uncomfortable.

This gave Ze Ren's sister all the attention the girl could want. And incidentally gave Edward all the food and drinks he wanted, on Mustang's dime. Since Ed couldn´t leave the market with Roy's niece clinging to him, and the girl refused to let go, Mustang could pay for everything he ate and drank while being forced to stay. And that could be for quite a while. It was a good thing that his automail didn´t tire out, and that the child didn´t seem to mind the metal arm holding her.

But why the hell didn´t the little girl get tired of clinging to him?

"But he said he'd make my wish come true, and he hasn´t," Jiao Lan insisted for the hundredth time that evening.

Ed and Roy sighed in unison. They knew where this would lead. Well, it was worth another shot.

"You have to tell him what you want, honey. Or else he can´t trans- make your wish come true." Roy reasoned. Again. For what felt the thousandth time. And just like the nine hundred ninety nine times before, the Colonel's niece stubbornly pouted and claimed that her wish could not come true if she told someone.

"I think you're confusing a few different ... fairy tales here," Colonel said, by now appearing a bit desperate.

"How the h-" Ed quickly cleared his throat when he received a stern glare for the beginning curse. "How am I supposed to know what you want if you don´t tell me?"

Jiao Lan looked at him, considering the situation. "I don´t know…" She admitted and both alchemists dared to hope she would finally spill it. Then the girl's face took on a stubborn expression. "You´re the fairy, it´s your job to know," she said, poking Ed in the chest with a slender finger to make her point.

Oh great. Mustang let out a suspicious cough at both his niece's logic and Ed's having given up arguing about not being a fairy.

The blond alchemist glared at this superior. "She's your niece," the blond accused. "Don´t you know what she wished for?"

Roy grimaced. "No. She gave the letter containing her wishes to Riza, so she would send it to its destination. I was not allowed to look."

"Huh. Even your niece knows better that to trust you with paperwork." Ed muttered, and shifted his attention back to the child. "Could you write another letter then? And just give it to me?" he asked.

The girl shook her head. "No."

Fuck, this girl was stubborn! The blood relationship to the bastard was immediately obvious. It was clear that this was all the answer they would get, and Jiao Lan refused to explain just why she would not write another letter.

Shrugging, Ed set to wandering the Christmas market, Roy Mustang at his elbow, both of them carrying a child in their arms, both of them hoping the girl would point out just what it was she wanted to have. If not, she'd eventually get tired and fall asleep, right?

So far, no such luck.

And to make this even more uncomfortable, the question of what happened to place these two young children in Mustang's care was on the tip of Edward's tongue.

Ed was far from being a shy, polite person. He usually wasn't patient enough to hold his tongue when there were questions to be answered. But the suspicious black suit and the grief he had seen on Mustang's usually impassive face put a hold on his impatience. If what he suspected was true and Mustang's sibling had died recently, he had no desire to have that brought up in front of the children. Not while they seemed so carefree, staring in awe at all the holiday wonders on display in the market stalls.

Still, the silence was growing awkward. They had to talk about something, preferably without insulting each other, or this strangely peaceful stroll through a festive holiday fair would turn into an absolute disaster.

Mustang found the perfect topic. "So tell me Edward," he said with a smile. "How is Alphonse doing?"

"He´s doing great! Actually, he's around here somewhere, too." Ed informed his commanding officer.

Strangely enough, he had yet to see his brother anywhere, even though they had walked through a good bit of the market. With a twinge of guilty conscience, Ed noticed that he hadn´t even looked for his brother, too occupied with getting himself stuffed silly, his attention drawn in by the bastard and his sibling's children. And he had to admit, he was enjoying the stroll through the fair, looking at what the vendors had to offer. Some of the stuff was complete trash, but many vendors had very unique and interesting crafts displayed. Ed was constantly amazed, admiring the craftsmen's ingenuity at every turn.

"Look, uncle!" Ze Ren piped up.

It was the first time Ed had heard the boy speak. The child was pointing at a booth not far away, fine jewelry displayed on black velvet table mats. Ed was not sure what the boy wanted them to see, but the Colonel seemed to know immediately what the boy was after and changed course towards the booth.

On closer inspection, it became clear why Mustang's nephew had, for the first time that evening, broken his silence to point something out.

The vendor offered silver jewelry as well as carved stones, beautifully fashioned into necklaces, rings and bracelets. But now the younger alchemist noticed that the designs were of a more exotic style not usually seen in Central. Edward recognized a few Xingese characters and mystical creatures he was familiar with, superbly crafted in silver, jade and onyx.

It was a shame such jewelry was not more popular in Central. This particular craftsman was obviously a master at his trade, each piece beautifully, flawlessly detailed, with none of the telltale signs of alchemy present. Ed's estimate of the artisan's skill increased. Various tools lay on a table inside the booth, along with a nearly finished stone, abandoned to pay attention to other potential customers.

Ed leaned in closer to look at the work in progress. "A phoenix?" he guessed. It was definitely a bird, and it appeared to be in flames.

"No, that's Fenghuang." Roy corrected. "A mystical bird of Xing, the mistress of all other birds. It has very positive connotations. Fenghuang represents fire, the sun, justice, obedience and fidelity."

As Ed turned to his commanding officer, one eyebrow went up. "And that?" he pointed at what looked rather like a big snake chimera.

"That is the dragon Yinglong, the rain deity." The Colonel offered, surprisingly civil.

Pointing out the next trinket, the Colonel proceeded to name a few more Xingese mythological beasts and their relations to each other. Looking at the crafting, Ed found himself wondering just how much of a connection Mustang still had to the country at least one of his parents came from. To Ed, the Colonel had always been the picture of an almost perfect soldier of the Amestrian military, a model Amestrian citizen. If not for the clearly Xingese influences in his appearance, it was likely no one would ever question Mustang's origins.

Yet here he was, two children in tow that were obviously the product of the Eastern side of his family. Suddenly ashamed, Edward realized for the first time that he didn´t even know which side of the Colonel's family had its origin in the other country. He hadn´t known that his commanding officer had a sibling… or were there more than one? Ed hadn´t known about any relatives at all, and he had certainly never noticed the man behaving in any kind of parental or familial manner. Hell, this was the first time Ed had had _any_ civil interaction with him.

Actually… just what the fuck did he even know for sure about the man he threw insults at on an almost daily base? Other than the fact that he was a soldier, a slacker with regard to paperwork, a smug bastard who insulted him, and who was able to blow up a building with a snap of his fingers -

not much.

And speaking about Xingese heritage…

"What do you know about alkahestry?" Ed asked, his eyes caught by the salamander on the back of the Colonel's glove.

Roy stopped his explanation of one of the mythical creatures on display, which earned him a pout from both children as they obviously had enjoyed hearing tales about the sages.

"A few basics." The slightly tense tone in Mustang's voice was faint, but noticeable.

"Do they use symbols in Xingese alchemy as well?" The moment Ed began to compare the bird and the salamander, his mind was back to alchemy. "I´m sure that bird-"

"Fenghuang. She´s basically a chimera of various birds." Roy corrected.

"-would influence an array differently if you used it in place of your salamander." Ed finished, unimpressed by the interruption. The form was different, but he wondered what impact it would have. "Maybe it would render the circle useless. It´s not part of Amestrian alchemy. Could the two forms possibly be combined to ..."

His thoughts were interrupted by a snort coming from the bastard. "You really can´t stop thinking about alchemy for a minute, can you?" The amused tone in the Colonels voice was back, and the man visibly relaxed.

Edward blinked. He hadn´t even noticed when the body beside him had become tense. The man was far too skilled at hiding his reactions.

Edward had the sudden urge to… no, he couldn´t do that. But it would certainly be worth it to scratch the bastard's walls of impassiveness. For once, in all the time Ed had known him, the Colonel appeared relaxed enough to be off guard, and Ed decided to take the opportunity to shake him up a little.

"Depends…" Edward paused, eyeing his prey, and as predicted, one dark eyebrow rose in mocking question. "On what I´m doing and with whom." Ed curved his lips into a sultry smile.

He could pin down the exact moment the Colonel registered the words when the dark eyes went wide and the man appeared like a deer staring into oncoming headlights.

Resisting the urge to laugh out loud, Edward couldn´t help but try to score another point while he had the chance. His gaze dipped to the man's groin, and when his eyes returned to Mustang's face, the smile on his lips became downright lascivious.

"I´m sure you could come up with a few... _interesting_ ways to distract me, _Roy_," Ed all but purred.

Then he quickly reached out to support Ze Ren's back as the child let out a squeal, tightening his grip around his uncle's neck to prevent a fall from his uncle's suddenly slack hold.

"Sh-" Mustang cut off the curse and quickly tightened his slipping hold on his nephew. Only when he was sure of the boy's safety did he send a glare towards the blond. The effect was ruined by Ed's observation of how handsome Mustang was with a faint blush on his face instead of the impassive mask he usually wore.

"Uncle!" both children chided.

The Colonel cleared his throat and offered a hoarse, "Right. I´m sorry." before sending another glare at Edward.

Who tried his best to wipe off the grin on his face and replace it with an innocent expression. It didn´t work.

"Are you tired, uncle?" The girl asked, concerned for her uncle once it was clear his brother was not going to be dropped on the ground. Then she cocked her head, looking at her relative before asking.

"Uncle, do you have a fever?" Then she turned to Edward when the blond let out a short laugh.

"What´s so funny? Is Uncle ill? That´s not funny!" She chided.

Ed shook his head. "Don´t worry, your uncle is not ill." He grinned. "He´s just ... hot."

"He´s feeling hot? You sure? It´s so cold out here." She asked as she observed the faint color on his uncle's face returning.

"Stop that." The man hissed towards his subordinate, earning a confused look from his niece and a much better version of the innocent look from the alchemist.

The reaction was not as strong as it had been at the first innuendo, but Edward still came to the conclusion that messing with Mustang like this was surprisingly entertaining. And the man didn´t seem to mind being hit on by a man. It seemed more like he was shocked about being hit on by _Ed_.

Now that the Colonel was forewarned, the blond alchemist decided it probably wouldn't be so easy to do it again. At least not right away. So he would wait for another surprise moment before he tried again. Mustang didn´t really believe Ed would stop just because his superior told him to, did he? Actually, it was motivating him to do the exact opposite.

"Cookies." Ze Ren muttered into the silence, interrupting Uncle Roy glaring at his sister's blond 'fairy'.

"Huh?" was Edward's first reaction to that. Where the hell did that come from? Couldn't the kid speak in full sentences? Was he hungry?

"Right, cookies!" The girl chirped as well, and the Colonel sighed before nodding.

"Cookies?" Ed repeated, his voice holding the question. He was missing something here. "Care to explain, ba-… Colonel?"

"We need to buy some before heading home," was all the information he got from the man, who suddenly appeared surly.

The reason why came from the girl in Ed's arms. "Because Uncle can´t bake!" She pouted, and her uncle sighed again.

"He can't-?" Shifting his attention to his superior, Ed raised an eyebrow. "Don´t tell me there's something you are not absolutely magnificent at… other than your paperwork."

The sarcasm was understandable. After all, Mustang prided himself on giving a stellar performance no matter what he was doing, be it as the oh-so-might Flame Alchemist, a strategist, a politician, or even just dating the women Havoc had set his sights on. Edward's ears still rang from all the reprimands he received over the years for the things he had been unable to do to the Colonel's satisfaction. Sure, he usually succeeded in his assignments, but not without ruining that bridge, or letting that building fall down, or insulting some general, the military police, or some other pompous jackass that took themselves too seriously. And fine, maybe he should have kept his hands off that array that blew up half of the third lab….

Enough. There was something more important going on right now.

_Mustang_ not being able to do something. Though at the moment he was proving that he certainly was skilled at glaring.

Ed turned back to Jiao Lan. "Really? He can´t be _that_ bad at baking." Smiling innocently at the girl in his arms, he was very tempted to burst out laughing when both children nodded their heads vigorously enough to have dark hair bouncing synchronically.

"He is!" The girl stared at him with big eyes as if begging him to believe her. "He burned the chocolate cookies! And over salted the cinnamon stars-"

Ed blinked. Over _salted_?

"I mixed up the salt with the sugar." Roy muttered as an explanation.

"-and the dough for the gingersnaps was too hard to cut, even when uncle tried with that big knife he got from work!"

Mustang tried to cut dough - that shouldn't even be cut but formed - with a military saber? And considering how sharp those were…. Just what did the man put into the dough? Cement?

"And the icing for the-"

"Jiao Lan, I think that´s enough," the Colonel interrupted, blushing again, this time out of embarrassment at being caught out mishandling his equipment. When his niece sent another confused look at him, he elaborated in a much softer tone. "I´m sure he gets the idea." Turning to his subordinate, Roy found himself stared at in utter amazement.

"You´re a disaster in the kitchen." Ed concluded in a matter-of-fact tone.

Snorting softly, the Colonel stated, "I'm sure you are much better at cooking -"

"Cooking too?" Ed interrupted, both eyebrows rising.

"-and baking, Fullmetal." His superior finished sourly, his ego bruised.

"Well…" Ed started, unsure how to explain. Seeing his superior's lips curve up in a smirk, he quickly elaborated. "I am. I mean, it wouldn't be hard to be better at it than you, from what I hear, but I can bake."

"That doesn´t sound very convincing, Fullmetal." The Colonel accused, ignoring the jab against his own skills with stoic ease.

"What does that mean?" Jiao Lan interrupted the conversation and her uncle shifted his attention to the girl.

"What does what mean, honey?" Roy asked in a tone that encouraged the child to ask any question she might come up with. Parental again. Still weird.

"Fullmetal. What does that mean?" Jiao Lan asked again and looked at Ed as if she could somehow figure out why her uncle was calling him that, completely ignoring the fact that a metal arm held her up as if there was nothing strange about that at all.

"That´s what Edward is called at work." Mustang explained.

This time his nephew barged in. "You´re not at work, uncle." Hesitating a moment, the boy asked, "Are you?" as if it was absolutely possible for Mustang to work at the Christmas market.

"No, of course not."

"Then why are you calling him that?" The girl shot the next question.

"…."

"Silly uncle." She reprimanded.

Conceding the point, the man directed the conversation back to the blond who was biting his lower lip in a suspicious manner. "That didn´t sound very convincing, _Edward_."

"I'm a pretty good baker," Edward told him wryly. "I just can´t knead much dough at once because I can´t use the automail hand." Grimacing in remembrance of the pain his skull had suffered in the past, the blond explained. "The dough gets squeezed between the plates and it´s murder to get out. Winry told me she'd kick my ... have my head if she had to take the arm apart one more time to get baking ingredients out of it. So I get Al to knead the stuff for me now."

"One more time? She's done it often?" One dark eyebrow went up again and the bastard's lips returned to their smirk.

Shit.

"Fine. I like baking," Ed huffed, feeling his face heat up. "It´s no big deal."

"Uncle Roy can knead the dough!" the girl in his arms cried out in joy. She turned to look critically at her uncle. "I watched him, it's the only part he does right!" she offered and turned back to Ed. "Will you bake with us? Pretty please?" she begged. Her eyes once again filled with hope.

"Uhm." Ed looked down at the girl, then to her uncle. Going to Mustang house, of all places, to _bake_? He was met with another pleading look from the boy in Roy's arms.

"Well? What do you say, Edward?" the bastard asked. Was the man kidding?

Looking into dark eyes, Ed felt strangely out of place at the honest question he read in them. It was not as hopeful or pleading as the one in the children's, but still… it was strange. Really, really _strange_, weird, and slightly twisted but… could it be? Roy Mustang, decorated Colonel of the Amestrian military and dangerous Flame Alchemist… loved cookies?

No way in hell.

"Fine," Ed's mouth said, surprising the shit out of him.

Did he just agree? Was that him speaking? Obviously it was, because he now had a very happy girl strangling his neck.

"What kinds are we going to make?" the girl asked, joined by her brother, who was begging for cinnamon stars, which explained why the Colonel had attempted them despite not being able to bake. That child was far more persuasive than any damn puppy when it came to pleading.

"Chocolate cookies!" Jiao Lan demanded, her brother quickly adding sugar cookies to the growing list.

Before the list could grow into eternity, the Colonel interrupted. "But first you need to go to bed. It´s already very late."

The mutual pouting was not something Ed would have been able to hold up against, but Uncle Roy appeared to be better trained at withstanding them.

"I can come over tomorrow," Ed offered. "And I´ll bring the ingredients." Just in case. If Mustang was that bad a cook, Ed wanted to make sure he had exactly what he needed. And it gave him another opportunity. Before Roy could protest about his guest buying the things they needed, the blond looked at the little girl in his arms, and played his trump card.

"I will need both hand´s to buy them," he stated.

The girl in his arms stared at him, then looked to her uncle who quickly nodded.

"But you will come tomorrow to bake, don´t you?" she wanted to know.

"Yes, I will." Edward agreed, imagining his neck already free.

"You promise?" The big, dark eyes were glowing hopefully again.

Damn.

"Yes, I promise."

Well, there probably were worse things than going to bake at the bastard's place. And if Mustang really was as bad with cooking as his relatives claimed he was ... Ed could order the bastard around! Suddenly, the idea didn't sound so bad anymore. Ed was almost looking forward to it.

"Is that what your wish was?" The blond asked. "Home baked cookies for Christmas?"

"No. But if you come tomorrow, you can try again."

Oh well. He had tried.

Both alchemists were grateful that this time Jiao Lan did not protest when Ed placed her on the ground. Releasing her hold on his neck, she reached out to her uncle who took her hand.

Weird again.

Weirder still when the Colonel told the children to say goodbye to him.

Ed tried not to grimace, but smiled and waved back when the happy children waved, and both at the same time shouted a joyful "Bye, Fairy!" at him.

They really needed to get rid of that habit.

Watching his commanding officer walk away with his niece beside him and his nephew waving over the man's shoulder, Ed sighed.

Now he just needed to find Al, and explain to his brother why this year, he wouldn´t have to knead the cookie dough.

**Tbc.**

* * *

><p>One or two more to go and the Christmas Fairy will be finished :D doesn´t mean the whole storyplot itself is finished ^^ It´s going to become a multi-fic story ._. the Christmas part is almost done, but there are still some open points, like the adoption or most of the history behind that. So, there will be a sequel. I thought about a New Year's-part for the next one but seeing as I probably won´t be able to update the next part of this story before January… u.u Okay, two options here:

1) I post the New Year's fic regardless of the fact that New Year is over ^^° (And I hope that won´t ruin the mood)

2) Or We´ll wait… *cough* a year ^^° Christmas Fairy can stand on its own as a finished little fic, so it doesn´t need to have a sequel right away ^^

Let me know what you think :D

* * *

><p><strong>Review reply non-registered member:<strong>

Yoy: Yes, sadly she did ._. More about the circumstances will be known later ^^ There's a bit of history here and I plan to explain it all :D so don´t worry, I will continue ^^ And I hope it really turns out as good as you think it might ^^


	3. An Offer to Accept, an Offer to Decline

**Beta&Co-Author: **Ca11iope ^^I really need to find a better way to express my gratitude than saying 'thank you' all the time XD

**Warnings: **none ._. I can´t believe I don´t need to pile up the warnings ^^° Yeah, I know, I don´t have much uploaded and you probably are wondering why I´m amazed at the lack of warnings, but my hard drive is one dirty place and more is piling up in my mind, ready to be written ^^°

* * *

><p><strong>Christmas Fairy <strong>

**An Offer to Accept, an Offer to Decline**

Judging from Edward's amused smirk, the look on Roy's face must have been priceless.

While Ze Ren hid himself behind his Uncle's leg, his sister greeted Edward with a joyful cry of "Fairy!" and as much of a bear hug that such a tiny girl could managed. Of course she wanted to be lifted up, so Ed scooped her up with his flesh arm, as the other one was holding a rather stuffed shopping bag. The girl looked over his shoulder and let a delighted squeal, touching Ed's golden hair.

"Oh, that´s so pretty!"

Mustang's eyebrows were up around his hairline as he stepping aside to let his guest in. With his face slightly red, Fullmetal moved past him into the house.

"You pinned your hair up?" the Colonel asked, staring with frank amazement at what Ed had done to the blond strands.

There wasn´t much Ed could do with his unruly bangs, so they remained untouched. The rest of his hair was gathered into the usual braid, but folded up away from his neck against the back of his head. An intricate clip that looked like a delicate silver web kept it in place, the reflective metal a pleasing contrast to the golden strands. A single hair pin had been pushed through the outer loops of the half circle of metallic net to fasten the arrangement securely to Edward's head.

Roy moved his eyes deliberately away from his subordinate, and he swallowed. Who could have guessed that Ed had such an appealing neck? Roy was a sucker for slender, tanned necks just like this one.

Edward turned around and frowned. "Well, you wouldn´t want any unwelcomed ingredients in your cookies, would you?"

The thought of having to pull long hairs out of the baked goods – or worse, out of his mouth or throat – pretty much brought Roy back to reality.

"Cooking, baking, pinned-up hairstyles, fancy hair decorations … is there something I should know, Fu- Edward?" Roy corrected himself when he noticed his niece's look. Great, now it looked as if the girl was getting protective of her fairy. As if Ed needed anyone to take care of him, let alone a little girl.

"Shu- Be quiet," Edward snapped back. "This," he pinged a finger off the ornate clip, "was a present from Winry, and I don't have many things that can keep this yellow stuff up and out of my way."

Stuff? Roy blinked at the phrasing. Then he shrugged. Well, he was not complaining. It gave him a rather enjoyable view. And to be honest, despite the pinned up hair and short statue, Ed didn´t look anything like a woman, even from behind. His shoulders were broad, his back strong and sturdy, his hips trimly narrow. Definitely male. Roy rather liked the view, and wondered why he hadn´t noticed how attractive Ed was sooner. He could have secretly been enjoying this at work, though it would have been a challenge to keep his mind out of the gutter.

It slipped right back in there when Ed turned around and let himself be guided to the kitchen by Jiao Lan. The hairstyle was really eye catching, but the bare skin beneath… Roy reminded himself that this was his subordinate. His very bad tempered subordinate.

But that didn´t mean he couldn´t enjoy the view. It was a shame it was only for today.

Unless…

Roy followed his rude guest who was too impatient to let his host show him the way into the kitchen.

"Ed, there is something I wanted to ask you," Mustang started, and though he hadn't thought about it until that moment, it did make sense.

The blond sat his dark haired and highly excited little burden down on the kitchen counter and turned to his host expectantly.

And waited.

The Colonel opened his mouth, about to speak, but the words were stuck in his throat.

"Spill it, Ba- Mustang." Ed placed the shopping bag on the table and crossed his arms, tapping his foot impatiently while Roy struggled to say what was on his mind.

The words didn´t want to come out. Okay, maybe this was not such a good idea. This was Edward Elric he was dealing with after all. The bratty subordinate with whom Roy had been in an undeclared ego war with since day one, who would never let him live down the admission that there was something Ed could do better than his superior, and who most likely would turn his life into a living hell over this.

"I… submitted a request to adopt Ze Ren and Jiao Lan," Roy found himself explaining despite his doubts.

Ed blinked surprised. "Uhum?" The blond stared at him rather dumbstruck. "You're not about to ask me to babysit, are you? 'cause if you are, then-"

"No!" Roy quickly interrupted. Good lord. Ed babysitting his niece and nephew? The Colonel cringed at the thought of what would become of his life with the older Elric influencing his already too bright relatives. He was pretty sure he wouldn´t survive the result. Noting Ed's offended frown at Roy's obviously low estimation of his babysitting skills, the older man quickly went on. "It´s just… children need healthy food, and it wouldn´t be good for them to eat take out every day. Besides that, it's a waste of money, and I also don´t want to set a bad example for them by encouraging laziness, or stuff them with pizza and fast food and-" Roy stopped when he noticed that he was ranting.

Ed was staring.

So were the children.

"Uncle Roy can talk fast," Ze Ren commented quietly, and Roy found himself fighting an embarrassed blush at the amazed tone in his nephew's voice.

"Let me get this straight." It took the blond a moment to figure out what exactly Mustang wanted from him. "You want cooking lessons?"

Jiao Lan squealed delightedly to show her appreciation for this great idea. "Please please please, Fairy! Because Uncle's cooking is _really_ bad."

Said uncle tried not to grimace. While he appreciated his niece's endorsement of his idea, she could have left out that last bit.

"Why me?" Ed demanded.

Which was a rather good question. Because Roy liked his neck? Because the children seemed to like Ed? Instead, he took a different route. "Who else might I ask?" Roy countered.

"What about Hawkeye?"Ed offered.

"You know how she trains Black Hayate?"

"… good point." Ed admitted. "Havoc?"

"You have obviously never eaten dinner at his place. He smokes while cooking."

Ed wasn't giving up. "Breda?"

"Prefers fast food and excessive desserts."

Ed sighed. "Falman?"

"He´s booorrinng!" That wasn't Roy answer, but his niece's.

"Fuery?"

"Oh, he´s fun!" Jiao Lan squealed and Ze Ren nodded enthusiastically as well.

Roy cleared his throat. "I don´t think he wants those two in his flat ever again."

"Huh, you'll have to tell me about that one." Ed said, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Maybe during one of your cooking lessons?" the Colonel suggested hopefully.

Golden eyes narrowed. "What about Gracia?" Surely the woman was a more suitable instructor in how to make healthy meals for children than Ed. She was a mother, after all.

"I can´t impose on her anymore than I already do," Roy explained, and when Ed's eyebrow arched up, he elaborated. "She´s babysitting them when I´m at work. Jiao Lan and Ze Ren get along very well with Elysia. We have been invited to the Hughes' for Christmas Dinner."

"She babysits them? Oh, good. I didn´t want to think about them growing up with you as their only major influence," Ed said.

The man in front of him glared at the insult, but surprisingly let it slip. "I'm already asking too much of her." Mustang finished.

"Knowing Gracia, I´m sure she doesn´t mind," the other alchemist said.

Mustang sighed. "You're right, she doesn´t," he agreed with a grimace.

Edward's eye narrowed. He'd noticed something off about this exchange. "Okay, what´s up, Bas-" Ed coughed falsely. "Mustang?"

The girl looked up. "Who, me?"

Oh right, same last name.

"No, Yia-.. Jea- ..damn it." Ed slipped and earned a disapproving glare from the man in front of him. "Sorry."

"It's pronounced, 'Jiao'." The older man said.

"Yi-" Ed started and knew with the first syllable he was doing it wrong. The girl started to snicker.

"No. Jiao." The Colonel tried again.

"Oh, he-" Edward closed his mouth to stop another frustrated curse.

"Just call her Lan." Roy offered and looked down at his niece. "Alright?" When the girl nodded, Ed let out a relieved sigh.

"No, Lan, I didn´t mean you." The blond explained.

"Ze Ren, then?"

"No, I meant… uh… Roy." Ed stumbled a bit over the man's first name, and though it wasn´t the first time he used it, it suddenly felt ... too intimate. Maybe it was because the last time he had used it to flirt with the man.

"Why don´t you say so?" Lan huffed.

Ed looked up and found his superior biting his lower lip. The mischievousness over seeing Ed in the same position the blond had enjoyed seeing him in the day before was clearly visible in the dark eyes.

The girl turned to her brother and pointed at Ed. "Are all adults this silly?" she asked, as if the boy would know the answer. He looked at his sister, then turned to observe the two men. Turning back to his older sibling he shrugged.

The adults just looked down at the child and then at each other.

"You´re not getting off that easy." Ed informed him. "Why not Gracia? I´m sure she would agree."

"Actually, she offered," Roy informed him and stepped next to Ed to finally start unpacking the groceries. Since they would be needed, he didn´t store them away but instead lined them up on the counter.

"So, what´s the big deal?"

Roy sighed. Ed wasn't going to let this go. "I´ll tell you if you agree to give me a few cooking lessons," he bargained. Both of them were alchemists, after all. They were familiar with the concept of giving something to get something in return.

But they were also both stubborn idiots who tried to get the better of every argument.

"I don´t think that's an equivalent exchange," Ed said, and Roy bit back a curse.

"Fine. What do you want?"

Ed's eyebrow arched up. He had not expected the man to give in so quickly, so all that he replied with was a dumbstruck "Uhm…" that made the Colonel smirk.

"Why don't you think about it, Ed?" Mustang suggested, turning back to the groceries.

* * *

><p>Ever since the encounter at the Christmas market, Edward had looked forward to the chance for another attack. He didn´t have to wait for long. The first batch of dough he had assigned the Colonel to knead provided him with an opportunity. Mustang had bent to his task with grim determination, almost as if he expected the stuff to attack him, and with the Colonel's attention turned to the 'enemy,' the younger alchemist had seen his opening.<p>

Ed had to admit, the older man's self control was remarkable. Edward himself would probably have jumped, or let out some embarrassing squawk if someone had interrupted his concentration the way he did with Mustang. Namely, by sneaking up from behind.

Still, when he placed both hands on the man's hips from behind and stepped _close_ he could feel the slight flinch.

"Take it easy, Roy. It hurts less when you´re relaxed." Yes, it was ambiguously phrased. Actually, that was the whole point. Considering the tense line of Mustangs back, of his whole posture, the man might actually have managed to hurt himself kneading dough. There didn't seem to be a single relaxed muscle in the Colonel's body, and it gave Edward's choice of words a perfectly innocent excuse.

Mustang froze, fingers still buried in the mixture of integrants in front of him. Ed had to bite back a laugh. As if one 'adversary' was not enough, now the man found himself facing yet another unexpected attacker. The blond could almost see his thoughts spinning.

This really was fun.

"It´s baking, not battle," Ed told him with a finally pat on the hip before reluctantly stepping back. It was surprising how… good the man smelled. Was it the aftershave the bastard used? His soap? The shampoo?

No sense wondering about it. Even though it was very nice. Ed wondered if this really was the first time he was close enough to the bastard to notice it. Huh, it probably was. At least he couldn´t remember another situation.

He could hear the man taking a deep breath as if to steady himself, and Ed turned around to prepare the next batch of cookie dough. He didn´t know why, but he felt a bit disappointed over the lack of reaction. Nonetheless, he proceeded to mix the next round of ingredients while Mustang rolled out the current one.

Whenever he turned around to check on the other man's progress, he didn´t know whether he should be annoyed or simply laugh at Mustang. The man was using the rolling pin like a bludgeon, and the dough he was rolling was more rutted and uneven than a country road. The man's body was stiff as a board, well aware that his efforts were not producing the desired results. True, the dough had been suitably kneaded, but the rolling was spectacularly bad. This was ridiculous.

The younger alchemist placed the flour he had just measured out back on the counter and once again stepped closer to the dark haired man. Trying not to begin his sentence with "For fuck's sake," he took the rolling pin out of the man's hand. Mustang let out a protesting sound when he was pulled away from the table backwards and towards a chair.

"Sit down." Ed ordered, but of course the bastard didn´t. Having enough of this, Ed simply placed his hands on the man's shoulders and pushed him down again with a little more force than needed. The Colonel had only himself to blame for being such a stubborn idiot.

He left Roy sitting in the chair muttering something about Ed acting like Hawkeye without a weapon, returning to the table where the curious children sat and watched. It only took Edward a few moments to roll out the dough evenly, and he could see the children getting excited at the prospect of attacking it with the various cookie cutters. When they finally were given permission to start pressing out the shapes, Ed almost couldn´t get out of the way fast enough to give them room. Deciding that telling them to use the space effectively would be a waste of time, the blond turned back to Mustang, who was observing the scene visibly amused.

"I never suspected you to be such a capable nanny, Edward," he teased.

Edward let out a growl and set the rolling pin on the counter before turning on the oven so it could heat up. Dark onyx eyes followed his every movement until the older man had to twist his body awkwardly when Ed stepped behind his back. Once again placing both hands on broad shoulders, the younger alchemist forced the Colonel to sit straight.

"What are you-" The question ended with a half pained and half relieved groan. The man's head dropped forward, offering more space to the mismatched hands kneading his stiff shoulders.

When Ed felt the muscles underneath his hands start to relax, he stated, "You´re trying too hard."

It had been clear to him the moment he had recognized Roy's expression as the same one he had often seen in the mirror when he had been searching for the philosopher's stone. The stress of attempting to gain custody of his niece and nephew, and to be a good parent, was clearly taking its toll on the usually cool and collected Colonel, much as he might be trying to hide it. As Edward's fingers slowly worked their way towards the man's neck, Mustang sighed in contentment, and the younger man had to bite back a grin. Who would have guessed that the smug bastard could be reduced to this by a simple massage? Maybe Ed could use his rub down skills as a kind of bribery, to get his commander to cut him some slack after a difficult mission. Or to overlook the odd demolished building or two.

Edward caught a faint trace of that he had smelled before, that distinctly Mustang scent, and stepped a bit closer. "Baking is supposed to be relaxing, not work."

Mustang let out a groan when the hands on his back relieved a particular nasty bit of tension. "_This_ is relaxing," he said with a small smile. "Not mixing up ingredients, or kneading dough, or cutting out cookies. I didn´t know you could give massages." The Colonel closed his eyes as he felt the tension slowly leave his body.

That _screamed_ to be taken advantage of, and Ed stopped for a moment to lean down, lips next Roy's ear, and damn, he really liked that smell. "You'd like it better without the shirt," he said, quietly so the children wouldn´t hear.

A quick glance confirmed that the two youngsters were still intent on the cookies, arguing over what shape would take the last bit of available space. It was the first time he noticed something like a backbone in the little boy who insisted on a tree, while his sister insisted on a heart. When he felt the shoulders under his hands shift, he looked back to Mustang. Dark eyes stared into amber, and Edward found it a bit overwhelming, the man suddenly so close, even though Ed was the one leaning into the other man's space.

"If that´s an offer for more, I'll gladly strip for you," the deep voice whispered back, and all Ed could do was stare. He blinked and could feel his face heating up. It earned him a smug grin and Edward quickly straightened up.

"Yep, you´re back to normal," he concluded while at the same time wondering if this really _was_ normal. Yes, the man was always flirting, hitting on people, but he had never done so with _Edward _before. It was probably just Mustang getting his revenge on Ed for teasing him the day before. "Stand up," Ed said, patting the man's right shoulder softly.

The smirk on the other man's lips widened and sure enough, Roy did stand up. Ed needed to look up into the man's face, and the blond felt the urge to punch him in the stomach. Hard. Damn bastard was deliberately pointing out the high difference.

Reminding himself that a display of violence was not good in front of such young children, Ed abruptly turned around and went to finish mixing the batter he'd started. He heard an amused chuckle behind him and had to clench his teeth. At least the anger helped ease the prickling sensation in his stomach.

He should have let the bastard rot and get a backache. Ed had to remember that this was Roy Mustang. The older man had been acting so strange, Ed had forgotten for a moment that this was the person who drove him crazy on a regular basis, who seemed to live to tell every short joke the world had ever known just to piss Ed off. How the fuck could he have forgotten that, even for a moment? Ed was here to bake cookies for the Bastard's niece and nephew, and that was all. Forget about how good he smelled.

* * *

><p>Ed had wondered from the start if Mustang's cooking skills were as bad as reported, or if the children were exaggerating as children often do. Twenty minutes after the first batch of cookies were put into the over to be overseen by the Colonel, Ed had his answer. Fuck, the man really was a disaster!<p>

"You know, they say Alchemy was born in the kitchen," Ed said as he took the smoking cookie sheet to the sink. There was the hissing sound of hot metal being cooled off in cold water. "Now I know why you are the Flame Alchemist." He took his Automail out of the sink and was pleased to note that the baking tray was no longer hot enough to turn the water into steam.

At the table, Mustang's niece and nephew mourned the cookies burned to ash, but at least there was still enough dough left for a second try. The Colonel sighed, but took the critique without any complaint. That alone was close to a miracle, but it was not the first one Ed had seen today. To his utmost astonishment, the Colonel had not made a single excuse for his dismal failures in the kitchen. Not when he had added baking soda to one batch instead of flour as instructed. Not when he had put in a half cup of salt in another, instead of a half teaspoon. And not when he had forgotten to keep an eye on the last batch of cookies baking in the oven, alerted to his laps when smoke began to squeeze out around the oven door.

Ed dried off his Automail and returned to the table to toss the little charcoal trees, stars, hearts, and moons into the trash. The Colonel quickly cleaned the table's surface, and with the help of two wooden rails Ed had transmuted into the table top, he managed to roll out the rest of the dough evenly. The children attacked it with the various biscuit cutters once again.

Grabbing the powdered sugar and flour, Ed made his way over to the counter, where a bowl and the other ingredient he would need for the vanilla beans awaited him. He set them aside and spared a quick glance at the progress at the table before nodding. At least the children were managing just fine.

By now Edward was checking on a regular basis. He was still amazed at the amount of chaos one grown man could do. Sure, Ed himself was notorious for the disastrous amount of chaos he could cause on even the simplest of missions, but this was not a mission. This was baking. And baking was not supposed to be a disaster. The thought that an anal bastard like the Colonel could screw up something so simple didn´t quite fit in Ed's brain. He glanced at his superior officer. Mustang looked nothing like the dashing and dapper Colonel Edward had worked with for years. The man had managed to spread flour over… well, pretty much everything in the kitchen, except for the place where it was needed – namely the table's surface where it should prevent the dough from sticking to the wood.

'Pretty much everything' of course included the man himself. His black shirt and trousers were sprinkled and smeared with white and brown, and a few mysterious yellow spots. Ed guessed the white had to be flour and powdered sugar, and the brown had to be cocoa, but he had no idea where the yellow came from.

Hold on, yes he did.

And it was about time to get that particular dough out of the fridge. Doing just that, Ed handed the bowl to Mustang, who looked at him skeptically, but took it.

"You do know how to handle balls, don't you?" Ed asked with a smirk.

"Never had any complains before. I look forward to _your_ assessment of my skills."

The conversation was, of course, phrased in a harmless, child safe way, but Ed still had to bite his lip to keep from saying out loud what was on his mind. As time wore on and they continued producing baked goods, the younger man's mind increasingly slipped into the gutter.

Strangely enough, Edward found it comfortable to be flirting and teasing with Mustang. The innuendos came easily, naturally to mind. Some of them he said the moment he thought of them, and others – well, he just didn't. Ed was not as used to being in this kind of situation as Roy obviously was. Some things he didn´t dare to say, shocked to discover just how deep his mind could dive into the dirt.

He had to admit - and it wasn´t really a big surprise – that Mustang was far better at this light, verbal sparring. The man obviously had no shame at all, but still managed to phrase things so harmlessly, it was positively wicked.

And it was certainly more fun than teasing the man in a field where Mustang could not defend himself. Every critique of his cooking skills was met with a frown. The lack of any other response had shocked Ed at first. It took a few near disasters before Ed noticed that the frown was not a sign of anger. It was a sign of careful observation. Mustang was actually trying to learn to do this, and do it right.

But obviously, the man would rather bite off his tongue than ask Ed for specific advice, so he might very well have continued to suffer. Before things could get further out of hand, Ed was forced to step in and tell the man what he was doing wrong, and what he should do to correct it.

And damn if Mustang didn´t desperately need the instruction. Even the egg whites protested being whisked stiff as long as it was Roy who was whisking them. Ed wouldn´t have believed it if he hadn´t seen it himself, but even his own scientific mind started to entertain the suspicion that Roy Mustang and the kitchen actually _were_ enemies. Hell, it didn't seem possible that one human being could make so many mistakes without deliberately _trying_ to do everything wrong.

One thing was sure, if Mustang wanted to learn this, he definitely needed someone to teach him – just to avoid major damage to the kitchen.

Having finished preparing the icing for the vanilla muffins, the blond turned around and growled.

"Okay, who stole that cupcake?" he said.

At least one cupcake was missing from the stack placed on the windowsill to cool. Ed turned to the Mustangs and was faced with three pairs of absolutely innocent looks from similar dark eyes. Well, two innocent and one impassive look. Not one gave away a thing, and just yesterday Ed would have ruled out the oldest Mustang. Today however, Ed knew that Colonel Mustang, Flame Alchemist, Hero of Ishbal, had a sweet tooth rivaled only by his relatives, both of whom were small children.

Sighing, the blond gave up trying to discover which one was the culprit. By now he knew that if he didn´t catch them in the act, these three would stick together like glue. It really was amusing to watch, if it weren´t for all the sweets vanishing. For a moment, Ed wondered just what kind of behavior Mustang was teaching them. As long as you don't get caught, it´s fine? But then, he and Al had not acted any differently as children. And the Elrics' mother had often indulged her sons, playing these same harmless games.

But fuck, this was Roy Mustang in front of him. Weird.

Shaking his head at the surreal feeling, the blond proceeded to ice the cupcakes. They were the last task on the list, and after they were suitably covered, Ed joined the other man and the two children at the table where some black coffee awaited him. He sat down and took a sip. At least the bastard made good coffee. Looking to the children, Ed found them with identical drinks of hot milk, and he grimaced. Milk… eww.

"Okay, so what is wrong with Gracia teaching you?" Ed asked. He was dying to know.

From across the table, Jiao Lan looked up. "You don´t want to come back?" She looked positively crestfallen and even her brother looked at Ed like some hurt puppy. Damn it.

"I didn´t say that," he quickly defended himself.

"So, you will come back?" Then the little girl seemed to realize something. "You know, I don´t think you did a good enough job."

"Huh?" Now Ed was confused.

"My wish." She insisted and pouted.

"Right. Are you ready to tell me what it is?" Ed asked, still confused. All his question earned him was a disappointed look. "Uhm… maybe I can try again?" So, did the wish have something to do with baking?

"Yes! Tomorrow!" the girl squealed in delight.

"Uhm… I´m celebrating Christmas with Al and Winry," Ed said, and at her questioning blink added, "That´s my brother and our good friend."

Now Jiao Lan looked ready to burst into tears. "But… it´s Christmas tomorrow!" she insisted.

"We´re invited to Gracia's place, sweet." Mustang tried to calm his niece. "And you know family is important. Do you want Ed's brother to be sad?"

"But my wish!" Was the bratty reply and the girl pouted, then she looked at her uncle. "If family is important, why didn´t you ever celebrate Christmas with us?"

"Is it because of… what made you never visit us?" Ze Ren added, probably only now realizing he didn´t know the reason why their uncle never visited.

Curiously, Ed looked up. If there was one thing he had realized by now, it was the fact that the bastard was quite smitten with his niece and nephew. And clearly, he still was mourning his sibling's death. It seemed strange to think that he had never visited his family.

"Yes, it´s because of that." The man agreed with a sad smile. Seeing his guest's questioning glance, he shook his head. "But now that's over and we will celebrate Christmas together this year."

Ed narrowed his eyes. Damn the man. He wanted to know! Fine, curiosity was not exactly healthy and yes, it was impolite to intrude in someone else's business. But he was Edward Elric, he didn´t give a damn about what was healthy, and was probably the last person anyone would think of when asked to point out a polite person. He wanted to know!

As if the bastard was sensing his thoughts – and he had probably read them right off of Ed's face - he quickly changed the topic. Manipulative fucker.

"And your wish… it´s not about baking, is it?" They had pretty much ruled that out yesterday, but Roy obviously decided that it was safer to ask anyway.

"No!" The girl shouted.

Fine, so Ed obviously had done something right if one considered her previous statement, but not good enough. Whatever that meant.

"Is it complicated?" the blond asked, sending a glance towards Mustang. And that damn bastard better not think that the Gracia matter was forgotten. Ed would return to that topic just as soon as he could.

"Compli-" The girl blinked as she stumbled over the word, forgetting her anger. Her brother looked at her and then to the blonde alchemist.

"Told you it wouldn´t work." He looked disappointed.

"It will!" She insisted and looked back to Ed with both hope and fear in her eyes. "Won't it? You can do it, right?"

"Uhm…" Ed had no idea how to answer, because he had no idea just what she wanted him to do.

"Jiao Lan, something like this is not easy. I´m sure if you give Ed some time, he… will try harder," Roy assured his niece.

The girl looked to her uncle. As did her brother. And Ed. But the Colonel only returned his subordinate's glance and gave a very faint shrug. He didn´t have any idea what his niece wanted either, but hoped that they might be able to find out.

Then the bastard smirked. "But to do that, he will have to come back."

Ed stared. Then he looked to the children. Both of them were gazing back like they expected him to grow wings and admit that he really was a fairy – elf, damn it – and would fulfill all their wishes.

He looked back to the colonel. The nerve of that bastard, using his own relatives to manipulate Ed into coming back here again. He knew damn well Ed didn't want to disappoint them.

"Right. And Uncle Roy needs those cooking lessons badly too, doesn´t he?" he asked, and the children nodded eagerly. If he had to do this, he might as well slip a few insults in, it was only fair. And it was fun to watch Mustang trying to keep that smile on his face through it all. "And Uncle Roy will owe me for that, won't he. He promised." Ed grinned when the smirk on Mustang's face disappeared. The man was probably thinking about all the ridiculous things the blond could demand from him.

"I didn´t say that!" Mustang exclaimed.

"You told me to think about it," Ed retorted. "Doesn´t make much difference if I think about it now or later."

"I does!" Colonel quickly protested. "I can still refuse -"

"Sure, if you´d rather have Gracia teach you." Ed said sweetly, and the man stopped with a grimace. Oh yes, there was definitely something wrong there.

"Great, I´ll see you after Christmas," the younger man said smugly. "Now, why exactly don´t you want Gracia to teach you?"

Mustang stared at him for another few seconds, but the answer to this question was part of their deal.

"So, I take it I´ll be getting those lessons from you?" the older man asked, all business.

"Yes." Ed huffed. As if he hadn't made it obvious. But when both children cried out in joy, it was almost worth the admission. "Now spill it."

Mustang cleared his throat and took a glance towards the children.

"She´s becoming… rather friendly," Roy admitted.

"So? She´s always friendly."

"_Too_ friendly," Mustang clarified, and sighed when Ed only looked at him confused.

"She´s a widow, Ed. She's been alone for quite some time," the older man said, attempting to explain it on a more personal level.

"Yeah, I know." was the sad reply.

Damn, it still wasn't sinking in. Letting out an annoyed huff, Mustang tried again. "She made some ... explicit offers."

"To teach you to cook? Yeah, you said so. But that still doesn´t explain -"

"She hit on me, you –" Roy stopped his rant short when his niece looked up.

"Someone hit you, Uncle?" she asked, innocently.

"No, sweet. Drink your milk." the Colonel said quickly, and looked back at Ed, who gaped at him, jaw slack.

"She-" The younger alchemist started, and actually pointed a finger at the man who just glared sourly at him. Then the blonde burst out laughing.

"Glad you find it so amusing." Roy commented dryly. Ed only laughed harder. "She´s my best friend's wife." After a few seconds, he sighed. "You know, you need to take some time to breathe…. stop laughing!"

"What did she do?" Ed managed to ask. "I can´t even imagine her flirting with someone! And especially not with you! I thought she had some taste."

"Really?" Roy asked, all innocence. "I must have imagined you doing the same, then."

That at least shut the younger man up, and made him blush rather adorably. Despite all the innuendos, neither of them had actually said anything straight out.

Seeing the smug grin back on Mustangs face, the blond narrowed his eyes. "Well, maybe Al and Winry are right and I don´t have good taste either," he muttered.

* * *

><p>Christmas Day saw Roy and the children at Gracia Hughes' home for dinner, and Roy had to admit that he'd had a reasonably good time. His niece and nephew really enjoyed the time spent with Elicia and her mother, and as long as Gracia kept it platonic, Roy enjoyed the company too. They had eaten together and exchanged simple, inexpensive gifts. Now as the hour grew late, Roy sat on the couch, watching the kids look through their presents while Gracia prepared tea. Relaxing with an almost too full stomach, Roy found his thoughts drifting back to the previous evening, and Edward.<p>

The older man still didn´t know if he should be insulted or not. Ed's 'taste' _was_ notoriously bad, as anyone who had ever seen how he embellished his transmutations while in one of his creative moods. Monstrous gargoyles, twining dragons, and all manner of sinister ornamentation were par for the course. Finding himself measured against that particular yardstick was beyond insulting – but at the same time, Ed had more or less admitted his interest in Roy.

Only Edward Elric would choose to insult someone by insulting himself.

"Uncle Roy, what are you thinking about?" his nephew asked. Roy blinked and looked down at the boy settled by his feet, his sister beside him.

"You looked really silly just now," the little girl informed him.

Smiling softly at his niece, Roy shook his head.

"I´d like an answer to that question as well," Gracia said, placing two steaming mugs on the table, then lighting some candles.

She then sat down on the couch, quite close to her guest. Roy, feeling uncomfortable, shifted a bit away. Then he took Ze Ren into his lap, hoping to prevent the woman from placing her hand on his knee again.

"I was just wondering what possessed Ed to buy Christmas gifts for us," Roy said, looking into the small package in his hand.

The younger alchemist had stopped by the Hughes' that morning and left presents for all of them. Roy couldn´t imagine how the young man had managed to persuade the Xingese jeweler from the Christmas market to make the gifts on such short notice. The elderly jeweler's craftsmanship was excellent. Roy couldn't see a single flaw in any of the pieces, and the workmanship was beautiful. He knew the man had made them individually. Roy suspected the designs were to Edward's specifications - particularly his gift to Roy. The salamander was not a traditional alchemic symbol in Xing, but it was crafted from the same red stone as the Fenghuang they had seen at the stall. The links of silver chain glittered in the candlelight as Roy pulled the necklace from its box to examine it once again. He still wasn't sure how he felt about the gift.

"It's Christmas, Roy," Gracia said with a smile. "He wanted to do something nice. Edward really is a good boy."

"I guess I´m just surprised." Roy had not expected to get a present from Ed, and certainly not something like this. Despite the fact that it was a small gift, he knew the blond had really put his mind to it.

Gracia took a sip of her tea and watched as her daughter and Jiao Lan looked at a picture book together. Both girls were wearing necklaces as well. Elysia's sported an ornate silver rose, Jiao Lan's an orchid of jade. Roy wondered how Ed had managed to get her name translated without being able to spell it. 'Enchanting orchid', indeed. The girl had been very excited to receive the pendant and every so often, she reached for it, as if to assure herself that it was still there. Ze Ren had also been enormously pleased with his miniature version of Roy's salamander. The boy hadn´t even put it around his neck. He had kept it in his hand, a firm hold on the crafted stone, a look of awe in his eyes whenever he opened his fist to peek at it.

The children probably hadn't received many gifts while living in Xing, Roy thought with bitterness. The thought of what their lives must have been like after their father's execution filled him with regret. Once again he promised himself to not let his Xingese brother in law's family get their hands on these innocent children.

Feeling his nephew snuggle closer to him, the Colonel leaned back and observed the woman beside him. She wore a silver rose pendant, just like her daughter's. The jewelry for her and Elysia had probably been more expensive, but Roy still felt as if the crafted stone pendants were more… valuable, likely because of the thought Ed had clearly put into choosing them.

"I was surprised as well," Gracia said musingly as she shifted a little closer to Roy on the couch. "I didn´t know he had meet Ze Ren and Lan."

For a moment, Roy considered telling Gracia about his arrangement with Edward so he could at least put her off about the cooking lessons she had offered. But it wouldn´t be fair to use the blond to get out of this, and there was the larger issue of her interest in Roy as more than just a friend. He had to make it clear to her that he was not interested in her that way, because to keep her hoping just wouldn't be fair to either of them.

Looking at her, Roy observed once again how very lovely Gracia was, and he could still see the beauty that had attracted his best friend. But she was also too… well, too Gracia. What Roy saw when he looked at her was Maes' wife, and the mother of his best friend's daughter. He knew Gracia had to be lonely, her grief tempered enough that she was ready to find another man to share her life with, but Roy was not that man. There was no sexual attraction whatsoever.

She had noticed his gaze and smiled in that soft way only a mother could. Mistaking his thoughtful observation for interest perhaps. He needed to tell her.

But Gracia obviously had thoughts of her own, because she beat him to it. "Have you thought about my offer?" Gracia asked quietly, looking down at the boy in Roy's lap who appeared ready to fall asleep.

Sighing deeply, the Colonel closed his eyes for a moment. "Gracia, I-" he thought about his words for a moment, then decided that there was probably no easy way to say this, so he might as well be direct. "No."

"No, you haven't thought about it or-?"

"No, I don't think this would work," he quietly said.

She turned away to look back at her daughter. "I…" He could hear the deep breath. "Why not? The children would benefit from a normal family, and…and I…"

Oh damn, he felt like an asshole.

"I don't feel that way about you, Gracia." It was better to make things clear.

"You still see me as Maes' wife," she stated.

"No, I-" But it was true. Before he could say anything else however, she interrupted.

"Well, it´s true. I will love Maes until I die. But… Roy, I don´t want to be lonely. Elysia needs a father and you… you've changed since the children came to live with you. I know you would be a good father. I´ve seen the way you act around Ze Ren and Lan."

Listening silently, the Colonel looked into the flame of the candle. "I´m sorry. But it won´t work," he repeated.

"Why not?" Now she sounded hurt, and he knew what she was going to say before she did it. "I´m not that-"

"No." He interrupted her, voice gentle but firm. "You´re not. Gracia, you are a lovely, intelligent, kind woman. You are a great mother, and you deserve better than a man like me."

She gave him a doubtful, bitter noise and Roy was suddenly struck by how much his speech sounded like a standard rejection. He looked at her and found her staring into the flame of the candle just the way he himself had done moments ago.

"I don´t feel about you that way," he tried again. "If anything, to me you are like a sister in law. I don´t think of you as someone who could be my lover." He looked down to find his nephew lulled to sleep by his uncle's deep and soothing voice. "I could never touch you that way."

"You wouldn´t have to!" She quickly interjected. "We could just ... make a home together, and maybe someday you might …" She shrugged and nervously played with the wedding band on her finger. She still wore it.

This was not helping matters. As much as he wanted to spare her the pain, he had to leave no hope. "Don´t lower yourself like that," he said. "There are enough men out there who would love to have a chance with you."

"But not you," she said bitterly.

"No, not me. I told you I won´t ever touch you like that. Hear me out." He quickly said when she wanted to interrupt him again. "I may not feel like that towards you, but I´m still a man and I have needs."

The woman looked up, staring at him. He looked back, into her soft eyes and continued. "Do you really want a man who would take other's to his bed? Would you be happy, staying awake at night, alone in your bed, wondering when the bastard you live with will come home? Wondering how many women I´ve bedded during the nights you lie there alone? Or maybe you won't be. Women have needs as well. Would we take turns going out, hoping that the children didn't notice?" Gracia's haunted gaze was locked on the burning candle, and Roy pressed on. "If we play this charade you'll only be hurting yourself, Gracia. You'll be giving up the chance to meet the man you really should be making this offer to. In fact, the right man would be offering to share his life with _you_. You won´t find happiness with me, Gracia."

"You are too negative about this." Her voice was shaking. Her hands too.

"You aren't negative enough. Do you really want to take the risk?" Yes, it was a dirty fight, but Roy needed her to get that idea out of her head. "Would you want Elysia to see us fight when I came home after spending the night somewhere else? Even if we didn't, it wouldn´t do you or me or the children any good. Instead of fighting 'parents', they'd see a cheating man, and a bitter woman disappointed by the life she lowered herself to by living with a man who doesn´t look at her the way a husband should. You're a wonderful mother, Gracia, but you are also a woman. Right now you might believe you would do anything, give up everything for your daughter's happiness. In fact, I know you would. Your offer proves it. But I refuse to allow you to do this because I know there is a man out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. And it´s not me. I don´t love you, Gracia. And I never will. And though I often denied it to Maes, I actually _do_ want to find a special someone someday. So I refuse to stay with a woman I don´t love. Call me selfish, but my answer will stay the same."

Gracia was silent after that. After a few minutes, she stood up and quietly called to the girls, telling them it was time for bed. All three children were sleeping in Elysia's room, and Roy carried his slumbering nephew upstairs to tuck him in. Like any other time the Mustangs stayed overnight at the Hughes, Roy slept on the couch, but this time, he did not have to refuse Gracia's offer to sleep in her bedroom.

This time she didn´t make that offer.

* * *

><p>*phew* Temporary ending ^^<p>

Before anyone hits me for all the hints in here and the lack of explaining regarding Roy's … uhm… family situation, the story is not over. There will be a sequel. The whole plot won´t fit into a Christmas fic anymore after I´ve grown fond of the children (and my plotbunny for this fic decided it wants to grow big and fat and therefore demands more food -.- ), so it will be split into various fics :D

For anyone wondering about Ed's hairstyle, I thought about something like this:

imageshack. us/photo/my-images/51/hochgeklappterzopf. jpg

Delete the two spaces before putting it in the address line of your browser.

Hope you had fun reading this story so far and I´ll see you again when the sequel is out :D

* * *

><p><strong>Review answer, non-registered users: <strong>

Lorelei: Uhm… *looks at calendar* Epic fail, huh? u.u

Major ed groupie: o.O okaaayy… one: I have no clue XD Let´s see what my plot bunnies say about that ^^ Two: yes, he can fulfill it :D Three: I won´t spoiler you, but maybe you can guess it after this chapter? Four: Spoiler ;-X Sorry, you will have to wait and read ^^° I hope the answer still helped you, despite two of them being none XD


End file.
